Disappointment happens. It’s how life goes. But try telling that to a child. Actually, don’t. It’s dismissive. It says, “Your feelings don’t matter.” And when you’re a kid, those feelings can feel very big. End-of-the-worldish. Challenging. More often, we’re tempted...
When a child’s emotions get big, our own emotions can swell up, too. Our stress response kicks in, overriding our own “upstairs brain” – the logical, controlling part. When a child is upset, they rely on a parent or other caregiving adult to guide them through the...
One afternoon in my counseling office, I was working with two boys. I told them if they played quietly while I spoke with their mother, they would each be able to choose something from the treasure box at the end of the session. They were terrific. So, as promised, I...
Ask a kid what it takes to make a good friendship, and they can tell you: But that doesn’t necessarily mean they know how to make friends, how to translate their head knowledge into action. Though you see kids make friendships very quickly in their earliest years, by...
When I first began working as a school counselor, I sometimes got frustrated with children who didn’t seem to apply the social/emotional lessons I taught them. “Why don’t they get it?” I asked my colleague Anne Bagwell, a counselor and an amazing mentor. “I explain...
